I use the Fishful Thinking's activity called Letting Go of Grudges to help my boys. It is a great why to teach optimsim. I scale back the activity to help my younger boys by only making 5 to 6 circles - so they are not overwhelmed by this important activity. Please give it a try. Copy and paste the link below to get directly to the activity.
Here is what the activity entails:
On a piece of blank paper, draw a circle in the center of the page and record a few words that capture the essence of the situation that caused your child to hold the grudge (e.g. Maggie went to Sarah’s house instead of coming with me to the movies.) Then, fill the rest of the page with blank circles – 15 or more. The object is for your child to fill each of these circles with a word or phrase that describes:
something about the person for which your child is grateful – something he/she said, did, etc.
something important to your child about the relationship – small things, big things, current things, historical things
something about the person or relationship that brings your child happiness
After you and your child have filled in each of the circles, use the questions below to discuss what your child has experienced through this activity.
How have your feelings changed about the person and situation?
What positive aspects of the relationship and person do you now remember?
What, if anything, might you want to say to the other person?
What, if anything, do you want to do about the situation?
I hope this works as well for you as it has for me. It definately puts things in perspective. It can even been used by adults/parents - maybe it will help you let goe of grudges.